A few years ago, I attended a conference presentation during which audience members were asked to construct a metaphor to represent our experiences as students.  No one had ever asked me to do this, so I was intrigued, but pretty stumped.  Then I remembered my old boom box, with its radio and dual cassette deck–I always kept a blank tape handy, ready to press “record” whenever something caught my ear.  I realized that I did the same in the classroom, gathering bits and pieces from various sources, often without an idea of how–or even if!–those pieces would fit together. That was the joy of making and sharing mix tapes; when crafted thoughtfully, they were greater than the sum of their parts.  

In that same spirit, I plan to share a weekly “mix” of articles, recipes, book recommendations, and ideas in the hopes that something I share might fit into your own personal, ever-evolving collage. 

Found something you think I might be interested in?  Submit your recommendations here.

Baseball & indictments notwithstanding, here are a few things that have been bouncing around in my brain of late:

-Artist Carrie Mae Weems speaks powerfully about Nazis, white supremacists, & grace in this interview:

“I think that grace is much bigger than — it’s not turning the other cheek. It’s really understanding that someone has lost their humanity and you’re trying to offer it back.”

-My friend & fellow University of Arizona MFA alum Aisha Sabatini Sloan is a brilliant writer with a new book out.  You should buy it!  Here’s what Maggie Nelson (yes, Maggie. Freaking. Nelson) has to say about Dreaming of Ramadi in Detroit:

“Sloan roves, guided by a deliberate, intelligent, associative logic which feels somehow both loose and exact, at times exacting. The implicit and explicit argument of these essays is that there’s no way out but through—and maybe even no way out. So here we are, so lucky to have Sloan as our patient, wry, questing companion and guide.”

This short story, published in the New Yorker a few weeks back, is about a father trying to connect with his twelve-year-old daughter and it is beautiful.  (Big thanks to Noa for recommending it.)

-Last but not least, I made shepherd’s pie on Saturday night for dinner using this Alton Brown recipe and the whole thing was gone by lunch on Sunday.  Jill declared it to be one of her Top Five Favorite Things That I Make, and Shiv ate multiple servings – I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up making it again this coming weekend.  Give the people what they want!


The thing about losing a parent at age 23 is that you become the go-to person for when it happens to everybody else.  I truly do not mind this–after all, I am indebted to those who made themselves available to me when it was my turn–but I do feel disheartened when I see how little has changed when it comes to the way our larger culture navigates grief.  Essentially, we suck at it.

Enter Modern Loss, a website I desperately wish had existed in 2006.  The co-founders, Gabi Birkner & Rebecca Soffer, motivated by their own experiences, created the site as a place for people to speak candidly about grief in a judgment-free zone.  From personal stories of loss to advice about tackling your first day back at work, Modern Loss is practical, funny, touching, and thoughtful.  And now, it’s a book.

modern loss

I’m very proud to be one of forty contributors to Modern Loss: Candid Conversations About Grief.  Beginners Welcome., which will be published on January 23, 2018.  The collection has received advance praise from the likes of Mindy Kaling & Stephen Colbert and you can preorder a copy here!  Finally, a book about grief that you can feel good about giving someone – no soaring eagles or sunsets here.